BOY : May I hold your
hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't
heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you
love me!
BOY : You love
me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will
you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone
number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people
are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be
the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance
like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to
improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die
for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the
world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay
there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot
passionate, burning
kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten
to take the
cigarette out of his
mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the
sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic
and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me
sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something,
it goes in one ear
and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman
something: It goes in both
ears and comes out of the
mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty.
Andrew says I'm ugly.What
do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think
you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you
sure you love me and
no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked
the whole list again
yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more
important to us, the sun
or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light
at night when we need
it but the sun gives us light only
in the day time
when we don't need
it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a
person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer
interested?"
Pupil : "A
teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your
coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do
you have?"
5) My father is so old that when
he was in school,
history was called current
affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot
!"
Sam : "It's a family
tradition".
Teacher : "What do you
mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a
street hawker, my father
is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your
mother?"
Sam : "She's a
woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the
news to my father
that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram:
Result declared,
past year's performance
repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I
saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped him, what
virtue would I be
showing?"
Student : "Brotherly
love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me
frankly do you say
prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my
mom is a good
cook".
10) Patient : "What are the
chances of my recovering
doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent.
Medical records show
that nine out of ten people die of
the disease you
have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others
all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give
an example of
COINCIDENCE? "
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and
Father got married
on the same day and at the same
time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington
not only chopped
down his father's Cherry tree, but
also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father
didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George
still had the axe in is hand."
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